This week's episode of "Game of Thrones" was titled "The Door". We will get to the title a in a little bit as it really isn't relevant until the final scene. Just know this...FUCK YOU BRAN!
Now that I have that out of my system I can get to the actual review. These reviews are going to be a work in progress as I decide how I want to truly do them, so bear with me. This first time, as it is GoT I think I'm going to break the recaps down into WHO or WHERE as much as possible.
Also, another warning, as this is GoT, and people, including me, tend to get emotional over this show, there will *most likely* be a lot of cursing in the recap.
Sansa, Brienne, and Littlefinger
So Sansa is sewing something, that we get to see later in the episode, and is brought a letter by Captain Phasma...I mean Brienne. The letter turns out to be from her former "protector", Littlefinger, who wants to have a little chat over in Mole's Town just down the road from Castle Black. The summary of this meeting is below:
LF: Sansa, I'm so happy you're alive!
S: Fuck you.
LF: I can't imagine what was done to you. I will protect you like I was supposed to.
S: Fuck you. I was raped. A lot.
LF: If I had had any idea. I swear, this time really, I'll protect you.
S: Fuck you. Like a lot, a lot.
LF: Oh, well your uncle, the Blackfish, has an army. Just thought you should know. I'm sure this will in no way benefit me as I'm not a scheming bastard.
S: Thanks. I don't need you to protect me anymore. I've got a former Lord of the Night's Watch. A shit ton of Wildlings. And the biggest woman this side of a giant, who really wants to put "Oathkeeper" through your stomach right now. Fuck you.
Arya...err the girl with no name...
Back in Braavos, The Girl With No Name Formerly Known as Arya Stark (can we get a Prince-like symbol made for this chick already?), is getting her ass handed to her again by the other Girl With No Name Bully Chick in the House of Black and White, at least this time she can kind of see it coming? After getting beat up a couple of times, the Man with No Name Formerly Known as Jaqen (again, symbol please?), shows up and agrees with the Bully Chick that Arya isn't ready. So what can make her ready? Going to kill someone in the name of the Many-Faced God. Sounds like a great idea. Not a big job, just go poison an actress. By the way, Former Arya, I'm sure you'll love the play. Be sure to get extra popcorn.
Oh, look, it's some guy playing Robert Baretheon, and there is the boar that ran his guts through. Oh, it's a recap of the first season. Arya should really like this. In all honesty, aside from the way Ned Stark was treated in the play, it was pretty spot on if you thought about it. Yeah, Arya wasn't too pleased with how her dad was portrayed either. Anyhow, she goes back stage with her new ninja skills and figures out the way to kill the actress. Of course, then she goes back and acts like a normal kid and asks a million questions to Jaqen...still not understanding that whole "we got paid, the Many-Faced God demands we do it, do it" thing.
Bran
Bran and the Three-Eyed Raven taking another jog through the history of Westeros, always ends well. What's that? A copse of tree people whispering conspiratorially, I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. Hey, what's that one doing with what looks like a Dragonglass dagger...oh, just stabbing it in that guy bound to that tree, no big deal. Well, now you've done it. You went and created the Night's King. Way to go stupid tree people (yes, I know they are children of the forest, I prefer stupid tree people).
Iron Islands
Woohoo! Looks like Yara will be the first Queen of Pyke! She has Theon's support, who else could possibly stand in her way? Oh wait, it's Uncle "Pushed My Dad Over a Rope Ladder" Euron. Who not only admits that he killed his brother, the king, but now wants to be king himself. Then he attacks Theon's manhood, or lack thereof. What a prick. Yeah, this isn't going to end well. And it doesn't. And now, to quote Doctor Who, "Run!". Euron is being drowned, err crowned, in as the new king and Yara, Theon (can we still call him Reek?), and her loyal men are making a run for it. Gotta say, the lady has some balls to go and steal the best ships while her uncle is being christened king. Too bad it doesn't phase King Euron at all and he just says, "go build more".
Dany, Jorah, and Daario
What a surprise, Dany is torn about making a decision. And more of a surprise, it's about Jorah Mormont. Nevermind, you have greyscale, which Dany has never heard of it seems (which seems odd), more points to Daario for moving in to gut Jorah if Dany had gotten too close to him. "I've decided I need you, don't die, and find a cure." Sure, ask for something simple dragon lady. Have fun with your horse people...again.
Tyrion and Varys at Mereen
So there is a temporary peace in Mereen between the Sons of the Harpy and Dany's people. But Tyrion wants it to be known that it is Dany that brought this peace and continues to bring it, even though she is off with her equine-riding friends. So he decides to meet with R'hllor's people, because, as even Varys points out, that always works out so well for everyone when they throw their lot in with a ruler or potential ruler (see Stannis Baratheon and his entire family). Kinvara, yet another very attractive high-priestess for the Lord of Light (man knows how to chose his priestess doesn't he?), says that she'll give her god's support because "obviously" she is fire-born and will be the one to lead the people against the darkness to come. See, this would have been good, but good old eunuch-man couldn't keep his mouth shut and had to be reminded about when his man bits were cut off and thrown into a fire. I'm trying to remember if we have ever seen fear on Varys' face in the past 5 seasons, because it is definitely there when Kinvara offers to remind him what he heard that night as a boy.
F***-boy Again (Bran)
I'm bored (must be GoT's version of a milennial). I'll just go look back in time without the Three-Eyed Raven helping me. Hey, look, it's the tree I'm under, and a lot of zombie people. I think, yup, that's Night's King back there. I need a closer look, that sounds like a great idea! Oh, no, he can see me! Creepy old guy is coming for me! No, means no! Good job, Bran. Now he knows where you are, sure nothing bad will happen here either. You'd be wrong, now you gotta leave cripple boy.
Castle Black
We all love badly drawn maps of the North. Jon Snow (actually he is a Stark, Robb made him a Stark, why does no one remember this?), is reminding us all that they are up shit's creek and don't have enough people to get Winterfell back. The Karstarks and Umbers have gone over to the Boltons, Sansa can forgive the Karstarks but not the Umbers (poor Rickon and Shaggydog). Davros, the onion man himself, reminds us that Karstark was beheaded by Robb, so no luck there probably (though Sansa tries to disagree and is promptly put back in her place by the Onion Knight). Jon jumps in again and reminds them all that there are over a dozen smaller houses that equal what they need and Sansa speaks up again about remembering the Stark name. Davros, good old optimistic Davros, reminds us (incorrectly) that Jon is not a Stark. To which Sansa basically says "No, but I am bitch. Oh, and while Jon IS a Stark, I'm also a Tully and my uncle, you may have heard of him, the 'Blackfish', has reformed the Tully army." *mic drop* Everyone looks a little surprised and happier, even Davros (wow an onion DOES have layers).
Brienne and Sansa have a little heart to heart about how Jon is a good man...but then why did Sansa not tell Jon about how she got the information?
We get to see what Sansa was working on at the beginning of the episode. A pretty little direwolf-head embroidered dress for herself and a new cape, also with the direwolf of House Stark on it, just like dear old Ned's.
By the way, Edd, you're the new Lord Commander. Congrats?...\
Under That Damn Tree
A lot of action in this scene. The Four Horsemen, I mean the Night's King and his White Walker homeboys, along with a cadre of lesser white walker zombies, show up at the tree. The Children of the Forest, Leaf and her buddies, try to hold them off by, I shit you not, throwing small cannonballs of fire at them. Now take that part of the scene apart again. These "people" are basically living TREES. You'd think balls of fire would be a bad choice in weapon, no? Yes, it works well against the zombies, so good on ya there, but fire and wood, typically not good bedfellows. Anyhow, the fire doesn't stop the Night's King and his buddies, it just kind of fizzles around them while the rest of the army starts digging through the tree to get to the juicy bits inside. Hodor, poor Hodor, has gone into a rocking fit from fear and Bran...who is back in Winterfell in the past with the Three-Eyed Raven.
One of the Night's King's main guys manages to get in and guts a child of the forest which gives good old Meera Reed the chance to grab a dragonglass spear and kill the guy (well, actually she made crushed ice out of him). She then finally, kind of I guess, get through to Bran in the past to take over Hodor and get them the hell out of there. They start to leave, but someone isn't with them...Summer, Bran's direwolf. He is last seen taking on about 20 of the lesser white walkers before vanishing under their superior numbers. Hodor, or actually Wyllis at this point, goes into a seizure and starts flaying about on the ground. While in the present Hodor is leading them out through tunnels towards the door that got them in there like 3 seasons ago. Through the race in the tunnels, hundreds of the lesser white walkers are after them and Leaf, the lead child of the forest, buys them time with one of those little fireballs, taking out herself and a bunch of them. Hodor manages to get the door open and all of them out it back into a blizzard, but...the door locks from the other side. Hodor shoves himself up against it, while Meera starts dragging Bran off into the storm. As she goes away she yells to him "Hold the door! Hold the door!". Back in the Winterfell of old, Wyllis, still thrashing about, is yelling "Hold the door!" over and over, and he starts to slur it...almost as if as his body in the future is getting beaten, he can feel it and he is wearing down.
"Hold the door....Hold the door...Hold door....hold...door....hodor...hodor...hodor...."
Fuck you, Brannon Stark.
Thank you, Hodor.
Summary
Well, of course, once again, fuck you, Bran. Other than, and I guess including that, another solid episode. Since the show doesn't have to follow G.R.R. Martin's books so much, especially since he is being a slow old man and hasn't finished the next one yet, they can go at a much faster pace. No season long treks from point A to point B. No slow, well as slow, build up to something we already know is going to happen.
While learning what "Hodor" finally means was a little traumatic for all of us (be happy we don't truly know he is dead, and this is Game of Thrones after all), it was rewarding in seeing that realization in grown Hodor's eyes right at the end. HE finally knew why he had been saying it all these years. Maybe part of Bran had been in him since that point?
Other take aways and thoughts:
- With Yara and Theon stealing the best ships from the Iron Islands, all of the fleets in the world are pretty much all controlled by women now.
- Arya still has a lot of doubt. Will she go through with it or will she run?
- Wondering who Yara and Theon will throw their lot in with. Sansa still respects him for saving her, but he did kind of help in her imprisonment to begin with...
- What name? Waht did Varys hear? Was it the Lord of Light's name? Was it Dany? Was it the secret recipe to making Valyrian steel?
- Are the Carstarks and Umbers really on Bolton's side? I don't think so personally.
- Down to 2 direwolves left...Ghost and Nymeria
- Tormund still wants a big old piece of Brienne, and I think we all want to see it too. That look he gives her before they ride out. Imagine the size of those strawberry-blonde children!!
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