The Soap Box - Short End of the Stick

**The Soap Box is my series of pure ranting posts.  If you think I'm being personal in some of these...well it's because I am!**

So while I love living in the East Side of Orlando, with it's close access to just about everything in the world shopping-wise that I could ever need within a 3 mile radius, there are some shortcomings to the area.

I live in the zip code with the single largest population in the greater Orlando area.  It is larger than entire cities that are near by in fact.  While it is not in the Orlando city limits, it is considered Orlando and my address says that on it.  All of that having been said it makes absolutely no sense to me why the area is treated like it is by certain companies.

Amazon

I'm a huge fan of Amazon.  I have been a member of Amazon Prime since the year that they came out and continue to be a loyal member.  The savings in 2-day shipping alone has paid for the $99 cost itself (yes, I order a lot of crap).  Throw in Amazon Prime Video and I'm a very happy fat man.  In October 2015 it was announced that Amazon would be adding "Same-Day Shipping" to the "Greater Orlando Area".  Well, that is unless you live in 32828.  That little zip code with a lot of people in it.  And it sucks even more now because Amazon has just announced one and two-hour shipping on some products.  Not saying I ever need something THAT fast usually, but it would be nice.  Jeff Bezos is a jerk and I hope  his space craft blow up on the launch pad (with no people in them of course).

Cable

While cable television/internet prices are typically high and no one likes their provider for longer than the initial reduced-price year or two, at least most people have a choice on who they can get cable from.  Not in lowly 32828.  We are stuck with Dim...err...Bright House Networks.  And thanks to recent mergers if we COULD get Time Warner or Charter they would actually be under a larger umbrella with Bright House by year's end.  For television we could get a satellite, but that would still mean that we would be stuck with Bright House controlling the internet (which is appalling on it's best days).  We can't get Xfinity.  We can't order Uverse.  We can't have Fios.  We are stuck with Bright House.  It sucks.

Closing Thoughts

While I love living in the area that I do, it definitely has it's drawbacks.  As I stated earlier, we have some of the best shopping opportunities in all of Orlando.  Thousands of people come from other areas of the city to shop here and then return to their homes, sometimes just a couple of blocks out of 32828, where they get better cable service and can have Amazon send them something later in the day that they may have just looked at over at one of our shops.  Am I bitter, yes perhaps I am, but I think that companies should treat an entire area, especially when they list "Orlando area" for something, the same.

What About Bob?

This is the Levinson family (well, to be more specific, these are the seven grown Levinson children).

I've been lucky enough to have known several of them since I was in my late teens and an undergraduate at the University of Central Florida.  The oldest of the girls, Susan, was even my date to my first formal for my fraternity.

This is Robert Levinson, better known as Bob (pictured with his with Christine).

I have not had the chance to meet Bob personally, though I hope that one day this changes.  Why have I not had the chance yet?  Because, Bob is currently the longest held hostage in American history.  Back on March 9, 2007, yes, you read that right 2007, Bob was doing some work on Kush Island in Iran when he suddenly disappeared.  Besides a few proof of life videos and photos almost nothing has been seen or heard of him.  Other prisoners held by the government of Iran have been released, but not Bob.  The United States government owes this to Bob, a former DEA and FBI agent, and his family.  They owe it to every single person who knows and loves the Levinson clan.  They owe it to all of this country.

There is no way that I can say enough in this post to convey how much his family misses him.  How the grandchildren he has yet to meet want to be held in his arms.  How his wife wants to kiss her husband again.

I admit that I write a silly little blog, but this is not a silly little topic.  Please visit the sites below and read more about Bob and his family.  After you have been there, please call the White House and your government officials and demand that something be done to find out more about his current whereabouts and what is being done to bring this man home to his family.

http://www.helpboblevinson.com/
https://www.facebook.com/helpboblevinson/

Short Post - Invictus Games

This is going to be a very short post for me, but I don't want the importance of it to be lost.

The Invictus Games are currently going on at Disney World here in Orlando (where I may or may not be employed).  The Invictus Games, for those that don't know, are a Paralympic-like competition held every 2 years created by Prince Harry (yes, THAT Prince Harry).  The way that they differ from the Paralympic Games is that the competitors are ALL members of the armed services of the country that they represent.

Watching these events while working I am just in awe of how these people, who lost so much defending their countries, still manage to give so much back.  Showing that just because they lost an arm or a leg or an eye, they can still fight.  And not only that, it's not rare to see the winner of a competition go back down a lane or around a track to cheer on a competitor or teammate, or even give them a hand.  These heroes show us all what a human being truly has inside of them.

Invictus means "Unconquered" or "Undefeated" in Latin, and watching these men and women compete I truly have hope for our world knowing that those so many consider "broken" can be so badass.

Return of Short Posts

At one point, when I first started this thing, I had planned on posting more.  But what to post when I don't really have something to say?  Well, a short post obviously.  So here goes again, let's see if I can do this for more than a week without vanishing...

Earlier this week Donald Trump became, effectively as everyone else has dropped out, the Republican party candidate for the highest office in the land, the President of the United States.  And unless something really strange happens it looks like Hillary Clinton will be his opponent.  The funny thing is here is how many people are upset that Trump is getting the appointment by his party.  People are burning their voter registration cards saying that they are changing party affiliation among other idiotic things.  My only big thing here, and I'm still not sure who the hell I'll be voting for in the end, is obviously a MAJORITY of the registered Republican's in the United States of America want him to run for President and to win.  Yes, he has some crazy ideas (oh wait, that is all politicians).  Yes, he doesn't know what the hell he is talking about at times (again, all politicians).  Yes, he has a tribble living on his head that he borrowed from William Shatner's "TJ Hooker" days (OK, he owns that one).  But despite all this, he will still get the nomination.

The last thing I'll say is this; He is rude, he is crude, but he speaks his mind.  His opponent is boring, either a liar or an idiot (or both), but she has political experience that he lacks.

Screw it, I'm voting for Cthulhu.

Star Wars Day Thoughts

Well today is a day that many geeks, nerds, freaks, and any other term you can think of, look forward to during the year.  It's Star Wars Day!  So called because May the fourth, when said aloud, sounds very similar to the good luck saying in the Star Wars franchise of "May the Force be with you" (I am sure 99% of those reading this knew that but I felt I should give some background).  The "holiday" started in 2011 when the details for the complete blu-ray box set of the first 6 Star Wars movies were released.

While I enjoy this day, and will be forcing my very understanding girlfriend to watch "The Force Awakens" again this evening, the whole day got me thinking about some things.  20 years ago, though millions of people loved and still regularly watched the original Star Wars trilogy, if an idea like "Star Wars Day" had been brought up in a group of 10 people by one of them, most likely the other 9 would have looked at him/her funny and made jokes about it.  Now, thanks to the overwhelming acceptance of "geek culture" in this and many other countries, it is an accepted event.

Gone are the days, thanks in no small part to the wildly popular Marvel Comics-based movies, where a grown man can't walk down the street proudly wearing a shirt emblazoned with Captain America's shield, the Spiderman logo, or Superman's "S".  Comic books are almost back to the popularity that they were in the early 90's, when Stan Lee was a young 70-year old!

Video games, once thought to be a fad and for a specific type of counter-culture, are now mainstream, with nearly half of the United States having some kind of video game system in their homes.  And they aren't just for the pre-teen/teen-aged sons.  Soccer moms play games on their phones while waiting for their kids to get out of school.  Some companies even support "civilization-style" war games because it encourages team building.  We've come a long way from playing "Joust" and "Galaga" in a shopping mall arcade or neighborhood pizzeria.  One of the most acclaimed novels in the last couple of years, "Ready Player One", has to do with video games and the legacy that they have and will have.

Once upon a time the idea that TENS OF THOUSANDS of people would converge on a convention center in a major metropolitan area, dressed as their favorite comic book superhero, video game star, television character, or a storm trooper would have been considered ludicrous.  Now it brings in MILLIONS OF DOLLARS to an area in just a few days.  Even my hometown of Pensacola has gotten in on the act with Pensacon, which sells out within days of the announcement of when it will occur.  For reference, the area of San Diego that hosts San Diego Comic-con, by far the largest convention in the world, brings in roughly $140 million for that week.  THAT WEEK.

But, not all elements of this world have been so greatly accepted.  The stigma of role-playing games still abounds.  The idea of five or six pimply-faced teenage boys playing a pen and paper game with dungeons (oh no), dragons (oh my), and demons (oh Christ!), while scarfing down large amounts of pizza and sugary soda still scares people (we won't even get into LARPers).  Why?  Is it because unlike something on a movie or television screen it requires one to think more?  By the way, some pretty famous people have at least TRIED to play role-playing games: Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Kevin Smith, Stephen King, Joss Whedon (ok, we knew that one), Stephen Colbert, and even Tim Duncan.  Hopefully one day this will go away as well and more people will give it a try.  Until then, my girlfriend will continue to clutch my arm tighter as we walk past those rolling around a D-20 when I make her go to a comic book store with me.

I guess what I am trying to say is, while yes, all "geek culture" is not the same, I admit this, but a few short years ago almost none of this would have been looked at favorably or even acknowledged.  I think that if more people sat down and watched some people playing D&D or Rifts or even Warhammer 40K and saw the work that goes into playing one of these games then their opinion may change some. 

Maybe the modern "geek" has changed.  Maybe the world has also changed a little as well.  And maybe it could stand to change a little more.  All of that having been said, May the Fourth be with you and have a fun day no matter who you are.

Oh yeah, May the 5th, while known to most of us as "Cinco de Mayo", or the day we all drink a lot of margaritas, Coronas, and Dos Equis and pretend we are Mexican, is apparently also known as "Sith Day"...something I admit I didn't know.  Either way, be safe and have a strawberry margarita for me for "Sitho de Mayo".

Wackadoo's

This past week it was revealed that the student union at my alma mater, UCF, would be closing down a school tradition to put in a chain restaurant.  The tradition is a restaurant called "Wackadoo's".  Wackadoo's has been at UCF since 1995 (originally called Loco's) and was opened by a UCF alumnus named Scott (who despite being a brother of TKE is actually a pretty chill guy).

The restaurant, which takes up a section (can't say corner as the SU is a mostly round building) of the first floor of the student union just off the main atrium, is what you would expect from any bar/pub style restaurant anywhere in the country, mostly.  A good-sized bar with televisions for watching sports.  A lot of durable, polyurethand-covered, stop-signed shaped tables for the beers that will inevitably be spilt.  And a couple of pool tables and other video games to entertain those who don't just want to eat and drink.  However, for any fan of the UCF Knights it is a mecca of history.  Jerserys and other sports memorabilia adorn the walls while those previously mentioned tables have years of photos from UCF Knights sports, events, famous visitors and students sealed forever for the patrons to look at while enjoying that Fat Ass draft beer.

Wackadoo's has always been a great place for students, visiting parents, and alums to drop in and have something a little different than the normal chain food that is offered in much of the rest of the student union.  The wings are perfect, the burgers are huge, the beers are always cold, and the buffalo chicken sandwich is one of the best you will ever have.

There is a limited time to try and go get a meal there (end of May at the time of this posting), and if you live in the Orlando area and have never been, or haven't been in years like myself (up until this past weekend), I urge you to stop in, have a chat with Scott (as he is sure to be there), order a Fat Ass beer and a buffalo chicken (or if you are feeling really brave be one of the last to try "The Challenge", 2lbs of beef, 9 slices of cheese, 9 slices of bacon, a pound of fries, and a pound of smothered BBQ pork).  You'll either be filled with memories or create some new ones that you won't be able to repeat any time soon.

Also, if you happen to like those tables, Scott is selling them for $150 each.

BACK!...and Summer 2016 Movies

Holy schnikes!  It's been over three and a half years since I posted on this thing.  Not that I ever meant to do it on a daily basis (don't believe my old posts about saying otherwise, they were all blatant lies to try and get people to come back), I just meant it as a place to occasionally throw out the random musings of a genius and the thoughts of a madman.

All that having been said of course, a lot has changed for me in the last 4 or so years.  I've grown wiser (I think).  I've grown more level-headed (also I think).  I've grown(?) smaller in size.  I dated a couple of guano women.  I stumbled upon the most amazing woman in the world (twice, actually).  Left a good job for what I thought would be a great job (news flash, it wasn't).  Then I started working for one of the largest companies in the world (hint BIG RODENT), something I didn't think that I would ever do (actually two things I didn't think I would ever do, work for a large multi-national company and specifically for the Rodent).  All in all the last couple of years have been an interesting ride.  I'll see if I can keep up more with this as I do enjoy having an outlet to put forth my thoughts and opinions (and keep the 10s of people who have ever read this page entertained).

Without much further ado and very little fanfare...let us get into the first post in a long time...

UA's 2016 SUMMER MOVIE EXTRAVAGANZA

OK, maybe that was a little bold.  At least the heading wasn't blinking and flashing, eh?

Summer 2016 promises to be a good time for some movies.  As I'm sure a whopping one person who reads this will see is that I didn't start off with "Captain America: Civil War" or "X-Men: Apocalypse".  It isn't because I don't want to see these movies or that I don't think they will be fantastic (I do and they will).  It has to do with the date of their release.  To me, the "Summer Movie Season" runs from the Friday after Memorial Day through the last weekend in August, when most kids are out of school.  So, like it or not, that is the time frame I'm going with.

Forewarning: I will not be listing ALL the movies.  Just the ones I've got any interest in seeing, or the ones I just want to rip on. Why?  It's my blog, that's why.

June

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows

Two words: Bepop and Rocksteady. All that needs to be said.  Even Megan fox couldn't make it that terrible...right?

Warcraft

I played the hell out of both Warcraft games growing up.  I also, and might still do, played the hell out of World of Warcraft over the last decade.  Yes, I'm looking forward to this because I remember all the hours I put into the characters and the story.  Also, every time I see the preview with baby Thrall being put into a basket and pushed down the river I keep thinking "hmm, all he has to do is get knocked over and drown and the story totally changes."  Yeah, I need to stop thinking at times.

Now You See Me 2

The bad news: Isla Fisher isn't in this one.  The good news:  Morgan Freeman is back and Daniel Radcliffe is in it.  God and Harry Potter?  The magicians are going to have to pull some major rabbits out of their hats this time.

The Conjuring 2

I'm a horror movie freak, anyone who knows me knows this.  The first "The Conjuring", telling of one of exploits of the most famous demonic investigators in history, the Warrens, is a great flick.  This time another one of their stories is brought more to light.  Can't wait for some chills.

Finding Dory

Do I really need to say why I'm going to be seeing this one?

Central Intelligence

Dwayne Johnson.  All that should need to be said.  I'll see "The Rock" in just about anything.  Hell, I saw "The Tooth Fairy", that should end all discussions there.  Also, "big johnson" teehee, they are talking about his penis.

Independence Day Resurgence

Why no movie poster here?  Because they are all terrible.

Sure, Will Smith isn't in it.  Yes, somehow Brent Spiner's character, Dr. Okun, isn't dead.  None of that matters.  Bill Pullman will make some amazing speech about standing up for ourselves and we will all be patriotic and want to go and shoot up some aliens.  Oh, and Jeff Goldblum will probably try to get you to go rent a new apartment.  Probably.  Also, a Hemsworth is in it, automatic cool points these days.

July

The Legend of Tarzan

Why no movie poster here?  Because I got lazy.

Tarzan be tamed.  Tarzan must save Jane.  Tarzan must save jungle.  Tarzan needs new plot device.

The BFG

I dunno honestly.  Ever since I found out what Roald Dahl meant when he said "the snozberries taste like snozberries" I've kind of been turned off from anything adapted from his books.

Swiss Army Man

Harry Potter playing a dead, bloated body for the entirety of a film.  OK, I'm intrigued. 

The Secret Life of Pets

One of the best voice casts ever are brought together to show us what our pets do when we are away?  Sounds like a great date night flick to me.

Ghostbusters

Why is there no movie poster here...read on.

If someone with a weak heart is reading this please look away now........are we safe?  Good.

FUCK YOU.  Never in all my life have I wanted a movie, whether it be an original idea or a remake, to bomb so badly.

Star Trek Beyond

Much like Independence Day Resurgence...there are no good movie posters for this flick.

I've loved the reimagining/reboot of the Star Trek series that J.J. Abrahms brought to us.  I just hope that Justin Lin can continue to make them good.  Pro: Simon Pegg was one of the writers.  Con: Leonard Nimoy won't be in this one as he was unfortunately preoccupied being dead and all.

Jason Bourne

Want to see a movie poster for this one?  Go to Google. Type in Matt Damon. Go to Images.  Done.

Hmm, another entry in a long line of action movies that have gone from an actual name or using a numerical value for the sequel to using the character's full name for the last in the series.  I admit to not having seen the last 2 Bourne movies so I'm not sure if I'll see this one either.

August

Suicide Squad

After the abomination that was Batman v Superman the folks over at DC/Warner Bros are bringing us one of the coolest groups they have to the big screen.  The cast, amazing.  The plot, awesome.  The delivery, hopefully just as awesome.  Apparently though, some reshoots were done after BvS did so poorly, hopefully this doesn't bode ill for the gang of criminals.

Sausage Party

Nothing. Nada. No poster whatsover at this time...

An animated comedy about what happens to food after it leaves the supermarket, written by the guys who brought us "This is the End" and "Pineapple Express".  How bad can this be?  The answer, sadly, is probably very.  Very bad.

Pete's Dragon

I loved the original Pete's Dragon.  It was fun.  And I'm pretty sure that except for the dragon himself that the movie was already "live action".  So making a "live action" movie of a "live action" movie is kind of redundant...no?

The Space Between Us

Yup, no poster yet either...

This I think could be the sleeper Sci-Fi hit of the Summer.  A guy, born and raised on Mars, wants to go back to Earth to see where his people are from.  What could go wrong?  Oh, probably everything.

Well that's it ladies and gents.  I'm sure the 5 of you who read this will have your opinions on what I've said, or about movies that I've left out.  If you want, leave a comment and I'll battle your words with my own witty responses.

-UA