Dentists Suck

Yesterday I had the honor of sitting in a dentist's chair getting a temporary crown put in.  It was tons of fun let me tell ya!  So I initially went in a little early as I couldn't find my wallet (which I now have found as that would have been a whole other fun day) and wanted to see if I could get billed by them.  Nope.  They were going to make me have to make another effing appointment, because I may have lost my damned wallet!  My mechanic, who happens to be two doors down from my dentist office, has no problem billing me later for something that has wheels and can get me out of the county, city, or state.  But my dentist who could probably put me on some medical facility black list if I didn't pay wouldn't let me get billed?!

Well anyway, I went out to my truck and luckily found another debit card I had as my bank sent me two a few months ago when they sent me new ones.  I called and had it activated and was good to go...well partially correct.  The girl pulling up my account to get the bill (BEFORE I've even had my work done mind you...this was like eating at McDonald's), goes "Did you want an upgraded crown for $150 more?  It looks a lot more natural and since it's on your smile line..."

"Let me see one of each?" I ask her.

She goes back real quick and grabs examples of the crowns and lets me see them.  I look at them and they looking IDENTICAL!  Not a little different, but NO DIFFERENT.  Here is how the next couple of minutes at the front desk of my dentist office went.

*Rubs the crowns in his fat little digits*  "Hmm, both made of porcelain and gold?" I ask her

"Yes, they are."  she replies back.

"Both have a 5-year warranty if they should break?" I inquire.

"Yes, that's correct.  5-year, 100% replacement."

*Holds the crowns in front of his face and between myself and the dental hygienist*  "Now, do you see a difference between these two crowns?  And if you do, can you honestly tell me that in 6-months they wont look the same in my mouth as compared to the rest of my off-white teeth?" --dead silence-- "Can we go do this now?"

And that was just the beginning.  Two hours later, after the dentist had actually done the most amazing job in the world of sticking me with a novocaine needle (I really had no idea he had done it except for the fact that my nose and upper lip went numb), I was finally finished getting the temporary crown put in.  I wont go into all the details how much the hygienist sucked at her job, including breaking the temp crown not once but twice while putting it on me (as my Pops would have said if he was there "Honey, thank God you're pretty, because you suck at the job you are doing."), let's just say..it was a fun experience. 

But wait, there's more!

I'm standing at the front desk waiting to make my appointment for when I'll come back and get the permanent crown put in, and another girl is sitting at the desk taking care of me.  Apparently my hygienist and I had reached the limit of time we could be around each other.  And she starts reading off other "options" for once I come back.  Including bleaching so that all my teeth are the same color as the crown.  Filling in this "micro-cavity" they "noticed" while working on the crown.  And, again, the mention of going up to the "Ultra-Special Super Deluxe Crown".

I finally get out of there, determined to find a new dentist now (though I like the dentist himself), and get in my 99 Dodge Ram.  I flip a U-turn so I can head into work.  "Black Betty" blaring on my speakers...when it hits me.  That wasn't a dentist office I just left.  It was damned car lot!

(I admit that parts of this story were embellished a little bit.  The only thing that really didn't happen was them trying to push bleaching on me.  That came up from me and my mom talking later in the day.  And actually when I was talking to her was when I realized that the dentist office was a hell of a lot like a car lot.)