Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Short Post #3

I have nothing witty to write here today.  Only notice I have is about a couple of LEOs (Law Enforcement Officers) being killed over in St. Petersburg, FL today.  Always sad for someone who doesn't deserve it to be shot and killed, even more so when it is one of those that have pledged their lives to protecting us (though yes I do know it comes with the job, doesn't make it any less senseless).  Glad the scum-sucking P.O.S. that did it probably looked liked Swiss cheese by the end of the siege.

Sgt. Thomas J. Baitinger and Officer Jeffrey A. Yaslowitz:  Gone but not forgotten.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Short Post #2

As an avid movie buff and reformed comic book freak I've got a bit of an issue going on in my head right now.  Shouldn't there be a limit as to how many different comic book characters an actor/actress is allowed to play in the movies?

Case in point: Chris Evans.

Not that I have anything against Evans as an actor.  He's actually pretty funny, and most, but not all, of the characters he is playing fit his body type pretty good.  But still, I was looking at his IMDB page and saw at least 6 movies that he played a different character in that are based off of comic books.

My biggest gripe?  Captain America and Johnny Storm do NOT have the same body type.  One is a normal guy, who just happens to be able to burst into flames and fly around, etc.  The other is a Super Soldier.  Cap is supposed to be ripped and well BIG, the ultimate of human perfection, at least body-wise.  The photos I've seen of Evans as Cap don't look bad, but you can tell they added padding and fake muscles (though again, the guy is pretty ripped, just not Captain America ripped).

List of Evan's comic book roles:  Johnny Storm (Fantastic Four), Captain America, Nick Gant (Push), Jensen (The Losers), Casey Jones (TMNT), Lucas Lee (Scott Pilgrim)

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Short Post #1

So I thought I'd do some quick posts on things that I notice "as they happen to interest me".  This, as you should be able to put together from the post title, is the first one.

I've been slowly cleaning off my DVR and I had basically half a season of the new Hawaii 5-0 to watch on there.  Like the show a lot, mostly because I'm a Scott Caan fan (and it could have nothing to do with how good Grace Park looks in a bikini I swear).  I get to the "Christmas" episode and it has James Marsters (another under-rated actor) in it.  At some point in the episode Marsters' character manages to steal Danno's (Scott Caan) Camaro.  And from that point on, the rest of the episode bothered me for one damned reason.  It was a 2010 or 2011 Chevy Camaro.  That means it had OnStar in it.  Every Camaro has it installed, whether you use it or not.  And being cops, they could have made a call, had the GPS turned on said "OnStar, where's the guy who stole my car?"  Boom, bad-guy cornered, episode over.

-UA

Dentists Suck

Yesterday I had the honor of sitting in a dentist's chair getting a temporary crown put in.  It was tons of fun let me tell ya!  So I initially went in a little early as I couldn't find my wallet (which I now have found as that would have been a whole other fun day) and wanted to see if I could get billed by them.  Nope.  They were going to make me have to make another effing appointment, because I may have lost my damned wallet!  My mechanic, who happens to be two doors down from my dentist office, has no problem billing me later for something that has wheels and can get me out of the county, city, or state.  But my dentist who could probably put me on some medical facility black list if I didn't pay wouldn't let me get billed?!



Well anyway, I went out to my truck and luckily found another debit card I had as my bank sent me two a few months ago when they sent me new ones.  I called and had it activated and was good to go...well partially correct.  The girl pulling up my account to get the bill (BEFORE I've even had my work done mind you...this was like eating at McDonald's), goes "Did you want an upgraded crown for $150 more?  It looks a lot more natural and since it's on your smile line..."

"Let me see one of each?" I ask her.

She goes back real quick and grabs examples of the crowns and lets me see them.  I look at them and they looking IDENTICAL!  Not a little different, but NO DIFFERENT.  Here is how the next couple of minutes at the front desk of my dentist office went.

*Rubs the crowns in his fat little digits*  "Hmm, both made of porcelain and gold?" I ask her

"Yes, they are."  she replies back.

"Both have a 5-year warranty if they should break?" I inquire.

"Yes, that's correct.  5-year, 100% replacement."

*Holds the crowns in front of his face and between myself and the dental hygienist*  "Now, do you see a difference between these two crowns?  And if you do, can you honestly tell me that in 6-months they wont look the same in my mouth as compared to the rest of my off-white teeth?" --dead silence-- "Can we go do this now?"

And that was just the beginning.  Two hours later, after the dentist had actually done the most amazing job in the world of sticking me with a novocaine needle (I really had no idea he had done it except for the fact that my nose and upper lip went numb), I was finally finished getting the temporary crown put in.  I wont go into all the details how much the hygienist sucked at her job, including breaking the temp crown not once but twice while putting it on me (as my Pops would have said if he was there "Honey, thank God you're pretty, because you suck at the job you are doing."), let's just say..it was a fun experience. 

But wait, there's more!

I'm standing at the front desk waiting to make my appointment for when I'll come back and get the permanent crown put in, and another girl is sitting at the desk taking care of me.  Apparently my hygienist and I had reached the limit of time we could be around each other.  And she starts reading off other "options" for once I come back.  Including bleaching so that all my teeth are the same color as the crown.  Filling in this "micro-cavity" they "noticed" while working on the crown.  And, again, the mention of going up to the "Ultra-Special Super Deluxe Crown".

I finally get out of there, determined to find a new dentist now (though I like the dentist himself), and get in my 99 Dodge Ram.  I flip a U-turn so I can head into work.  "Black Betty" blaring on my speakers...when it hits me.  That wasn't a dentist office I just left.  It was damned car lot!

(I admit that parts of this story were embellished a little bit.  The only thing that really didn't happen was them trying to push bleaching on me.  That came up from me and my mom talking later in the day.  And actually when I was talking to her was when I realized that the dentist office was a hell of a lot like a car lot.)

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Anisocoria - The New Nectar Of The Gods?

Anisocoria – noun – 1) inequality in the size of the pupils of the eyes, may be benign or life-threatening, can often be caused by a concussion 2) an organic single-malt barley wine produced by Orlando Brewing.
 
While I’m not one of the 20% of people who naturally have different size pupils, I have had the privilege of drinking the barley wine produced by Orlando Brewing in, here’s a shocker, Orlando, FL.  The brewery makes about a dozen different beers, as well as the topic of this post.  For the uninitiated, a barley wine is different from your normal beer in that it has a much higher alcohol content then a beer, usually on par with that of a wine.  It is called a barley wine because it is made from grain instead of fruit.  Anisocoria has an alcohol content of 17%, though honestly I think that it may have gotten a little higher as it was bottled over 2 years prior to being opened by my group.

This past Thanksgiving, smuggled in my parent’s luggage, my brother, another fraternity brother of ours, and myself, shared a bottle of it after dinner in New Jersey.  Why was it smuggled?  Well, the short story is that since the brew in question is organic, it can’t get above a certain temperature or it will die.  So I had to put it someplace cold while it traveled.

To start things off, we poured the contents of the bottle into a few rocks glasses, and, to my surprise, the dark liquid had no head at all.  I was worried that it had gone flat, but I know it hadn’t as I heard the release of gases when the top was opened.  Later on I learned that the reason for this was because that it didn’t have a lot of priming sugar in it, which gives beer it’s characteristic head.  The more I thought about this it made sense though.  This was in effect a wine. Wines need to breathe.  Head on a beer limits contact with air which keeps them “fresher”, which a wine or barley wine does not need.  Thus, no head.  Genius!

Next is smell, or aroma I guess to the beer connoisseurs of the world.  The smell was something reminiscent of figs with maybe a hint of raisins and bread.  Now when I say figs, I mean it literally smelled like I had just opened a bag of Fig Newtons.  Not a bad smell mind you, just unexpected in a brew.

Texture-wise it was definitely thicker than your average beer, but it wasn’t like drinking a stout.  It coated the glass well, unlike a pilsner or a lager which has almost the consistency of water this was more like cough syrup.  I know that doesn’t sound appetizing at all but it didn’t taste like cough syrup, just was thicker, more viscous, like it.  The great thing about this, because it was thicker and stuck around more as you drank it, you could feel it warming you the whole way down.

The initial taste was something also I didn’t expect.  It was very coffee-like, not hot coffee but like cold coffee.  Not one of those cold fru-fru coffee drinks you get at the local Starbuck’s or at the gas station or wherever, like coffee that had been sitting out for 30 minutes or so and had become cold.  In addition to that it tasted like it had alcohol in it.  I know you are thinking, “Hey, UA, isn’t something with alcohol in it supposed to taste like that?”  If you are thinking that, then you aren’t getting what I’m saying.  This wasn’t a brew that was basically water with alcohol content.  This was a brew that you could taste the alcohol content in.  And it tasted like heaven.

Overall, I definitely recommend having one of these next time you get down to Orlando.  It’s a bit expensive for a brew at $20 for a 12-ounce bottle.  But I only had about 4-ounces of one and I think I got my money’s worth.  If I had the whole bottle, it would basically be like drinking 3-4 glasses of wine and would probably give me a buzz on the same level.

My brother, who has his own blog about different adult-type beverages that he drinks, will be posting up his own review of Anisocoria in the next few months (give him a break, my niece is gonna be born in March so he is a little behind) and I’m interested to see what his write up says.  I’ll post the link on here once he does.

-UA

Saturday, January 8, 2011

We've Been Lied To...by the movies

Since I only started this blog yesterday I've been thinking of all the possible things that I could post on here.  From religious views to politics.  From comic books to string theory.  From video games to movies and everything else in between.

Well this one is going to be about movies.  In particular, it's about science fiction movies and how they've lied to us.  Yes, I realize that movies are make believe (unless it's a biopic or documentary) and that we are supposed to suspend disbelief when we watch them.  But as a child of the 80s and 90s there are certain things I was promised by this point in time according to the movies and I want them dammit!

In no particular order, here are the top 5 things that Sci-Fi movies have promised me by 2015 that either aren't here yet like they should be or should be here but doubt they will happen:

1) Time Travel (Timecop/1994) - according to Timecop, by 2004 we were supposed to have the ability to go backwards in time.  With the warning that should we interact with ourselves we would be turned into a puddle of organic waste because the "same matter cannot occupy the same space".  But here it is, 2011, and there is nothing in any science journal I could find about going back in time and stopping my mother from talking me into selling all my old toys.

Side note:  Why the hell could you only go BACK in time?  Wouldn't it make sense that if someone came from the future, grabbed you, and then hit the recall device that you would in fact go forward in time with them?

2) Self-drying Clothes (Back to the Future II/1989) - I list this for one specific reason, and anyone who knows me probably can already guess why.  I do not own an umbrella.  I have not owned one since high school.  Yet I live in a state where there is a lot of rain fall, especially during the summer months, and I am resigned to sitting at my cubicle at work in wet clothes because I do not have an umbrella...nor do I have self-drying clothes.  Yes, the "future" part of BttFII is set in 2015, but we are close enough now that there should at least be a damned prototype.

3) VERY Humanoid Robots (Blade Runner/1982) - Ok, so this one, in a way, still has several years still to come as the movie was set in 2019, though the book by Philip K. Dick Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? was set in 1992, however, I doubt that we are going to have robots/androids that are that far along by the end of the decade.

4) Full On Cloning (multiple movies all set before 2011) - First off, no I do not want some idiot scientist to go out there, find some dino-DNA and make a T-Rex that thinks my fat a$$ looks like a good entree.  That having been said, I do want some extremely smart scientist to take some samples from some of my organs and make cloned copies of them.  Reason being, I'm sure my lungs, kidneys, liver, and a couple of other things aren't going to last as long as I want them too.  Also, I think it would be a great idea to be able to clone a pet, like in The 6th Day, that way you never have to explain to your kid that "Rex is on a doggy-island enjoying his golden years, honey".  (Note:  Tried to find a logo for "RePet", the pet cloning place in the mall of The 6th Day but couldn't.)

5)  Manned Interplanetary Flight (2001: A Space Odyssey/1968) - yes, we've launched probes, satellites, little rovers, and other things that have landed on other planets and taken pictures and even gathered samples (that are still ON those planets), but to date, not a single human being has touched ground on anything other than our moon.  And to top THAT off, we haven't been back to the moon since 1972.  I think Kennedy would be a little pissed.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Great Neck Village, NY

Hadn't heard of the town either?  I'm not surprised.  It's part of Long Island apparently and they just had to have their 15 minutes of fame this week.  How'd they do that?  Well apparently they thought it would be a brilliant idea to ban smoking in ALL public places in the town.  While I have no issues with restricting smoking areas, saying that a citizen cannot smoke ANYWHERE in public is a bit far to me.  I have to deal with crying babies in public.  I have to deal with barking dogs.  I have to deal with 70-year old blue hairs who can't see over their damned steering wheels and drive in MY STATE!  Why aren't there laws to put a stop to that (mostly the last two as I love babies and I do realize that they cry because they don't have the ability yet to say what is upsetting them)? 

I know that some people feel that smoking isn't a right, it's a choice.  And they also feel that the choice shouldn't be forced upon others who are concerned for their health and that of their loved ones.  I get that.  However,  I pay taxes just like everyone else.  Should I visit the little hamlet of Great Neck Village, NY, I feel I should be able to take a stroll down Main St. (no I do not know if they in fact HAVE a Main St., it's a generalization) and do some window shopping while enjoying a cigarette.  That's a right I have, if you don't like it, go on the other side of the damned street.  Or, if you feel that you must restrict where people can smoke, why doesn't the city set up areas IN PUBLIC that the smokers can congregate.  Think of it as a way to get them all in one place so that they can share the carcinogens and thus rid the world of them faster.

Oh yeah...the fine for violating this little law?  Up to $1,000.  Yes, you read that right.  A grand for smoking in public.  That is ridiculous, pure and simple.

Maybe this is just getting to me as I'm quitting smoking right now and it just really makes me want to go light one up and blow the smoke in some city official's face...who knows.

UCF Knights

Yes, it's a week late, but since I just started the blog I have to say something about my alma mater.  Never would have thought 16 years ago when my older brother started at the University of Central Florida, or 11 years ago when I started my education there, that UCF would have a football team worth a crap.  Yeah, Daunte Culpepper was a hell of a quarterback and brought some recognition to the school, but sadly injuries took him out of being a truly amazing NFL QB.

But here it is, 2011, and not only have the Knights had their best season in school history, resulting in their 4th bowl appearance, and 1st bowl victory in the Auto Zone Liberty Bowl on December 31, 2010, but they also ended the regular season ranked in the BCS Top 25.  Not that shabby for the little directional state school in East Orlando (I say "little" but it doesn't hurt that UCF is the 2nd largest school in the country, outdone by only Arizona State).

Add to all this that the UCF Men's Basketball team is ranked in the Top 20 right now and is one of only seven schools with an undefeated season so far...yeah it's a damn good time to be a Knight, or in my case a Knight Alumnus.

I'm your huckleberry...

Yes, I realize that the quote used in the title actually refers to an old expression meaning "I'm your man" or "I'm the one you're looking for" but it'll all make sense in a minute I swear (and to those of you who thought it meant something about a pallbearer...sorry you were wrong). 

Back in 1885 a man by the name of Samuel Clemens, of course more well known by his nom de plume Mark Twain, wrote a little book called "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn".  Today, most consider this one of the great American novels, myself included.  One of the reasons it was so amazing, even when I read it in the early 90's over 100 YEARS after it was first published, was because you could pick up this book and instantly be transported to the Mississippi River.  The main factor behind this immersion in the book?  The vernacular that was in it.  I'll cut to the chase for those of you who are not lucky enough to have read this book.  It uses the N-word...A LOT, something like 220 times.  Do I condone the use of this word?  Hell no!  But,  this word, at the time of the writing, was in much more common use in the South.  Changing a novel, especially one of so much great importance in the history of the United States, just because a word is deemed inappropriate in today's society (again, don't disagree that the word ITSELF is horrible), is on the same grounds as book burning in my eyes.  If a book, in it's original state, cannot be viewed by it's audience, then it loses all that it set out to do.  Whether it be to inform or entertain.  And teachers, who think that this is a good idea because it gets Huck back into classrooms...shame on you.  You are supposed to be the educators of our future.  If our future is hand-fed censored drivel their whole lives, with no respect or knowledge of it's original form, then I'll be home-schooling my future children.

Yup, that's right, I'm your huckleberry...