Short Post - 23A - Ducktales, Oo-oo

Ducktales was one of my favorite Disney TV cartoons when I was a kid, as was it for many of my friends then and most you'd ask in my age group now.  Last year, Disney, in it's infinite wisdom, decided to bring it back.  Like all children of the 80's and 90's I was scared that another one of my beloved memories would be tarnished as so many have (cough...Ghostbusters...cough...Transformers...).  But as the cast was brought in (David Tennant as Scrooge McDuck, hell to the yes!), and the artwork for the show slowly came out, I was really looking forward to this new Ducktales.  Then I read that Lin-Manuel Miranda, of "Hamilton" fame, was going to join.  OK!  This is really getting good now!  Oh! He is going to play Gizmoduck! Awesome!  Wait, his real name is...what?  Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera??  So, just because we have a Hispanic man voicing the character, we have to make the character Hispanic now?  No.  We really don't.  This is an animated world where anthropomorphic ducks walk, talk, sing, and tales of derring-do!  Race really shouldn't be a big thing here, no?  I'm sure I'm being too sensitive on it...or I'm a jerk...or insensitive...which is my right...but...guh.

Also, doesn't Gizmoduck look like a reject from the Russian Federation side of "Robot Jocks" now?

Florida Wants To Kill You

In case you didn't know, Unknown Antagonist is a rare breed.  I am a Florida native.  I was born in Pensacola and have spent the entirety of my adult life in the Orlando area.  I love this state.  The sunshine.  The summer storms. The knowledge that it takes an hour to get to the beach no matter where you are in the state.  Hell, I even love the humidity (most days).  But the thing is, especially to those who haven't lived here for a long time, is that Florida is a very dangerous place.  Not because of radicals with guns (though, sadly we have those).  And not because of anything you might think of.  The state ITSELF wants you to die.  Next to the country/continent of Australia, I don't think there is a more dangerous place to live than Florida.  Here's why:

Animals

Snakes

How does that saying go again...

There are six venomous snake species that call Florida home naturally.  This includes the Coral Snake, which has one of the most potent venoms of any snake in North America.  Every child of Florida can recite, almost hypnopaedically, the adage "red on yellow, kill a fellow. red on black, your OK, Jack", which helps us to tell the difference between the Coral Snake and it's almost identical, non-venomous, cousin, the Scarlet Kingsnake.

The list of venomous snakes in Florida:

• Coral Snake (the beauty above)
• Eastern Diamondback Rattlesnake
• Timber Rattlesnake
• Pygmy Rattlesnake
• Cottonmouth/Water Moccasin
• Copperhead (usually in the Panhandle only)

On top of the venomous snakes, we have several non-native snakes that people thought would be GREAT pets, but got a little long and decided to drop off in the Everglades and other similar areas.  Burmese pythons, reticulated pythons, and even one of the world's longest and heaviest constrictors, the green anaconda, have turned up in our Fair stated.  Eating wildlife, getting lodged in sewer pipes, and yes, even squeezing small humans to death.

Reptiles

Just a little snack, don't mind me...

Guess what?  There is one place in ALL of the world that crocodiles and alligators coexist.  Can you guess where that is?  I'll give you a hint, it rhymes with "Horrid-A".  Yup, it's Florida!  The American alligator and the American crocodile both inhabit South Florida.  Crocs can get up to 20 feet long and will eat just about anything, including you, but are only located in South Florida.  Alligators, while smaller (usually no longer than 13ft, but 15ft isn't unheard of), are much more numerous.  Another one of those "old Florida" sayings "If it's more than 3ft deep, there is probably an alligator in it", and that alligator is waiting to eat you.

Spiders

Quick story here.  A couple of years ago I was visiting my parents in Pensacola and was going to take a shower.  I draw back the curtain and look down and see a dead spider (obviously as it wasn't moving and was on it's back and it's legs were curled in).  I get a closer look at it and yell to my, Pops, "Hey, may want to call your bug-guy.  Just saw a black widow in the shower."  When I got out of the shower my dad had called the bug-guy and he actually asked my pops to ask me "Was he sure it was a black widow?"  Well, yes I was, as, once again, I was born and raised in Florida and can tell you what both the female and harder to recognize male black widows look like.

Black widows, at least the females, are one of the most easily recognized spiders on the planet.  With their black bodies and red, hourglass shape on their back, you can usually identify this venomous little witch pretty easily.  While the venom of the black widow is pretty bad, it won't kill most healthy adults.  Children though are another story if not treated quickly.

Another spider here in the Sunshine State that, while it most likely won't kill you but will put you on your back in pain, is the Brown Recluse.  This little guy's bite can actually make your skin and the muscle under it start to become necrotic (in other words it literally starts to die with healthy stuff around it).

Bears

Yeah, it's cute NOW

The Florida Black Bear.  It's a bear.  Stay away from it.  It will eat you like you were honey. Or a pic-a-nic basket.

Boars

(no picture, why?  It's a hairy, mean, pig, with big tusks, I think you can visualize)

Oh, look at the cute little dark-haired piggy!  Oh, look, it sees us!  Oh, look, it's coming towards us!  Oh, look it has big tusks...and it's speeding up...  - Unnamed Florida Hiker

Wild boars, are not cute.  They destroy ecosystems.  They are extremely smart animals.  They are very territorial.  And they can gore a human quite easily.  They also can weigh over 400lbs. 

Sharks and Other Water Creatures

Fish are friends, humans are food

Florida has over 1,300 miles of coastline.  That's a lot of damned coast!  And guess what, where there is saltwater, there is most likely a shark, or twelve.  The state is home to about 9 species of shark.  But that's just native.  Some of the bigger and meaner sharks, such as bull, tiger, and of course the great white, like to visit their other many-toothed friends.  By the way, for several years running Florida has led the world in shark attacks.

Florida native sharks include:

• Blacktip
• Spinner
• Sandbar
• Blacknose
• Nurse
• Lemon
• Sharpnose
• Bonnethead
• Scalloped-hammerhead

Other animals that can kill you in the waters off the beautiful Florida coast:

• Barracudas (can get up to 6ft long and are mean bastards)
• Portuguese Man of War (big, evil jellyfish)
• Box Jellyfish (yup, jellys that kill...great)
• Lionfish
• Stingrays (remember the Crocodile Hunter?)
• Stonefish
• Pufferfish
• Cone Snails (so, so pretty.  so, so deadly)

Weather

Heat

No, it's NOT a dry heat!

Let's start with the most obvious.  Florida is hot.  Not just hot, hellishly hot at times.  The hottest that has ever been recorded is 109-degrees back in 1931.  In July the average high temperature, throughout the state, is between 89-95.  Orlando has hit 106 before.  While other states may hit higher temperatures on any given day, they don't have to deal with the real killer in Florida.  That killer? Humidity.  For those who don't know, humidity is basically the amount of water vapor in the air.  If the temperature is high, and you are sweating, that sweat which would actually cool you down can't do it's job because it is just sticking to your skin and not being evaporated.  "Dry" heat areas, you don't have that problem.  Sure it's hot, but at least your body can try to do it's job.

Hurricanes

It's so pretty...from SPACE!

From destroying the first settlement in the state in Pensacola in 1561 (sorry St. Augustine, you get the tile for longest, not FIRST), to more recent storms that have names that are forever etched in the Southern United States collective consciousness (like Andrew, Charley and Katrina), hurricanes and Florida have a long history together.  Floridians, both native sons and daughters, and those who have only recently moved here, know that June 1st thru November 1st are time for some great memories, but also time to make sure water is stocked and non-perishable food is ready to go.  And, unless it's higher than a Cat-3, we probably ain't going anywhere except down the street for a Hurricane Party (which is probably how most get "accidentally dead" during hurricanes come to think of it).

Lightning

Yes, lightning.  You thought that getting struck by lightning was an uncommon thing didn't you?  Florida has more lightning strikes per mile than any other state in the US.  This number goes up during the "tourist" season of May until October.  There is a 1 in 174,000 chance that you will be struck by lightning if you are a citizen of this state.  To put that in perspective, you are more likely to get struck by a bolt of pure electric energy that is hotter than the surface of the sun than you are to get a royal flush in standard 5-card stud.

These are just the big things.  We all know that crazy Northerners visiting the state who don't know how to drive, or, shudder, staying and intermingling with our natives and creating crazy cross-breeds is possible the 3rd most dangerous thing in Florida.  I'm kidding...mostly.  As there are plenty of Florida Natives who have been dropped on their heads too many times and then just go ballistic on other people.  Florida is dangerous, y'all.  Stay inside.  Or, if you have to go out, take a weapon and drive a big vehicle (just not a minivan as that sure as hell will get you killed).

Uh-Oh A Vaccine Post!

So in the last few days I've seen a rise in vaccination posts again on Facebook and in the general media itself. They seem to ebb and flow with the times for no real reason that I can find other than someone posting or re-posting something that was said several years ago.

From all of these posts I've generally weeded people down to falling in one of 3 categories:

1. Vaccinate no matter what. These parents/people believe that the CDC and their pediatricians/other doctors only want what is best for the child and will get vaccinated no matter what.
2. The "alternative" vaccinator. These people still believe in the viability of vaccines, just not that a small child (or infant/toddler) should be given 5 injections at a time or immediately after birth.
3. The anti-vaxxers. These people generally believe that all vaccines are evil. They cause autism (smh), they cause cancer (perhaps), they have nasty side effects (all medicines have potentially deadly side-effects, even common ones like aspirin), and that vaccines are just a way for Big Pharma to line their pockets.

I personally fall in the "alternative" vaccinator category. I know that vaccines save lives. I know that medicines can cause side effects in a small minority of people (I've had bad side effects to injectables in the past myself). To me (again this is me, you are more than welcome to your opinion as we are in the 21st century and everyone has one...or three), the benefits of vaccines, especially on a modified schedule, far outweigh the potential pitfalls.

A prime, and somewhat amazing example, of how well vaccination can work is smallpox. Prior to vaccination stopping smallpox before you contracted it, you had a 20-60% of dying from it (80% if you were a child). Thanks to vaccination efforts in the 19th and 20th century smallpox has not been documented since 1977. This was a disease that as recently as the 18th century still killed 400,000 people a year in Europe alone, and continued to kill in the millions into the 20th century. I find it totally bass-ackwards when people say "oh we don't vaccinate" but then turn around and have their kid in bubblewrap to go outside and play or eat nothing but "organic" food and no peanuts just in case they may have an allergy to it.

Again, you have your opinion, and if you are a parent, you have your choice. It's a hard one I know. Personally, I believe that a modified schedule of vaccines is much more safer than the pure "luck" of not getting them at all. Is there a chance your child can get autism? According to one report, filed by a doctor who has proven to have falsified data, sure... Is there a chance that your child could be the 1 in 100,000 who have an immune system response to a vaccine and spends in a week in a hospital room? Yes, of course. But IF smallpox was still around, and your kid and 9 others contracted it, is there a smaller chance that your kid will be one of 2 who would survive...yeah, I like the odds of vaccines.

Now, all of this having been said, I would like the government to tell us what is exactly in the vaccines that we are given and giving to our kids. I know that they are not the same as the ones that were given to me as a kid. I also know that there is no mercury in them, at least not to toxic levels. And no, I'm not stupid enough to just believe what the government gives us and say "OK looks good to me!". I want the vaccines to be picked up randomly from doctor's offices by two different facilities, a list of ingredients provided by the CDC and if the results don't match what they say is in them I want hell to come down upon them.

Too much to ask?

Voltron: Legendary Defender

First things first...

Way back when I was a young antagonist (3 to be exact), a little cartoon called Voltron: Defender of the Universe was brought to our shores (if you really want a pretty good in-depth history on Voltron head over to Birth.Movies.Death and have some fun) and us sheltered American children were introduced to 5 mechanical lions who combined and formed the aforementioned Defender of the Universe.

Old Voltron...like he was made from MEGA bloks

Netflix, in their continuous want to bring in not only kids, but those kids parents (pure effing genius!), has released the complete first season of their new animated show, Voltron: Legendary Defender.  The basis is still the same.  Five people from Earth are whisked away to the planet Arus where they encounter Princess Allura (and her majordomo/manservant, Coran) and are tasked with reviving the lions and forming Voltron to put an end to Zarkon's 10,000-year reign of terror.

New Voltron...so shiny and round

This past weekend I managed to watch all 11 episodes of the first season of this new show, and while not totally blown away (for reasons listed below), it was a very enjoyable experience (reasons also listed below).  The show itself brought in a lot of what fans of the original would like, plus new material to keep it fresh, while making it a little more gritty and dark also.  Instead of just being called "The Voltron Force" which I always found a little corny, even as a kid, the team are now known as the "Paladins", and each has a special weapon called a "bayard" which customizes itself to each paladin.  A quick look at the cast and some memorable things about them

Quick Cast of Characters

• Shiro - team leader, captured by Zarkon's guys and forced to fight for his life for over a year (no bayard...hmm I wonder why)
• Keith - best pilot, but rash and unpredictable (original series Keith was a combo of this one and Shiro) Bayard - sword and shield (though all of the Paladins can manifest a shield)
• Lance - always trying to one up Keith, but overall a good guy. Bayard - small lazer rifle
• Hunk - the big guy.  In the original he was brave and didn't stand down from anything, this version makes him smarter but not as brave, not sure if I like this. Bayard - big freaking lazer gatlin-gun
• Pidge - spoiler alert, is a girl who is looking for her family who was taken when Shiro was. Bayard - a strange shocker/batman-esque grapling hook thing
• Allura - the princess, asleep for 10,000 years when the team finds her (see pros below)
• Coran - the princess' majordomo.  Fanatically loyal to her, but the character was more refined in the original, has become a bit of comic relief in this version
• Zarkon - leader of the Galra Empire (the big bad of the series)
• Haggar - the "witch" that made the ro-beasts (now I think just called monsters/warriors)

The Lions

Allura goes into some speech about what the lions individual traits are and how they choose their paladins, yeah cool.  Watch the first episode to find out why each one gets the one they do (I think it just happens to go with the color of their clothes...but that's just me).

• Black (Shiro) - Forms the "head".  The best blend of the lions (speed and strength) and can fire a powerful beam from mouth.  Also, "wings" form Voltron's shield along with other special things.
• Red (Keith) - The "right arm".  Fast and unpredictable, like it's paladin.  Can fire lava (or something similar), can form a knife of some sort that it can throw around, and even more special super-gun.  Also, when bayard inserted into lion forms the "Blazing Sword" of Voltron
• Green (Pidge) - The "left arm".  Can go invisible.
• Blue (Lance) - The "right leg".  Fires freeze-ray from it's tail.
• Yellow (Hunk) - The "left leg".  The strongest of the lions, and can take the most punishment.  Can bash through things with it's head.  Special ability when merged is a big super-gun that can target multiple things at once.

Pros:

• Same basic origin story; 5 lions form big. bad super robot Voltron
• Great animation compared to the 1984 version.  Though it does through the occasional joke with over-exaggerated anime style to give old fans a taste of that from time to time
• Better overall story that flows from episode to episode.
• Better individual episodes that did not have a monster (called ro-beasts in the original) in every single time for Voltron to form and to slice and dice with his "blazing sword"
• The lions, while still much weaker when not formed into Voltron, can actually hold their own in a fight.  They have more weapons and "special" abilities than originally
• Also, when merged the individual pilots have a little more control and don't just let "the head" lead everything (also, more "special" abilities"
• Princess Allura isn't just a damsel in distress wearing pink.  Her species can change size and color, and she has the ability to speak to giant planet-rock things
• Shiro, has a good back story that I really hope they delve into more in the next season
• Apparently, as you learn in the last episode, Zarkon was the original "Black Lion Paladin", that should be a damned good story
• Reminded me of watching Saturday morning cartoons with my brother (yay!)

Cons:

• No Sven! (that's a joke only a few fans of the original will understand)
• Did they really need to make Pidge a girl?  I mean they already upgraded Allura from damsel in distress status
• While the overall story does flow between episodes, making it a long arc through the season, it almost seems like some of the aspects for the individual episodes are squeezed into the time alotted so that they can make the story-lone flow
• Hunk, in the original brave, kind of dumb, rushed into things.  Now, I just don't like something about the character
• The ending kind of sucked and it just kind of happened.  I'm all for cliffhangers but this was just meh
• Reminded me of watching Saturday morning cartoons with my brother (boo, as this is no longer a thing)

Conclusion

Overall, I definitely recommend that any fan of the original series should watch it.  It's not as campy, people may or may not occasionally die in it, but it's still a fun watch and a good thing to share with a young child you'd like to share some of your childhood with.

Pulse Orlando

I'm not going to post a lot here.  Just that I am still in shock for the events that happened on June 12th at Pulse nightclub in my city of Orlando, FL.  The worst mass shooting in the history of the United States.

If you can give blood, please do.  If you can't there is always something that can be done, even if it is just saying a prayer.

Transformers: The Movie

No, not the 2007 piece of crap that was released by Michael Bay with Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox, but the incredible 1986 fully-animated movie that shaped my childhood.  OK, that last part may be a little bit of a stretch, but not by much.

On September 13, 2016, just slightly over 30 years since it came out in theaters, this masterpiece will be coming to Blu-Ray.

So why is it so great?  So important?  So much a part of my childhood?  Listen my children and you shall see...

Original Transformers

These are the Transformers that we, the generation who they were introduced to, got to know and love (and hate) from the beginning.  Optimus Prime.  Ultra Magnus.  Megatron.  Starscream.  And so many more.  Yes, there were new characters, of course there were going to be, but they were, mostly, brought in to support those who we already knew the background on.

New Villain

This movie introduced us to Unicron.  One of the most bad-ass villains ever created in a movie, animated or otherwise.  A moon-sized Transformer who can eat planets?!

Limited Humans

This was about the fight between Autobots and Decepticons and ultimately Unicron.  The small bits of humans put in there were just to throw a nod towards the fact that humanity hasn't killed itself yet.

The Voices

Now we are getting into some big stuff here.  Yes, Michael Bay's atrocity did a huge thing by returning Peter Cullen as the voice of Optimus Prime, and for that fans should be a (very) little grateful,  But look at some of the other voices included in this movie:

• Orson Welles (yes, THAT Orson Welles, in his last roll ever)
• Robert Stack (of Unsolved Mysteries fame)
• Leonard Nimoy
• Judd Nelson
• Casey Kasem
• John Moschitta, Jr. (the Micro Machines guy!)
• Eric Idle
• Frank Welker (who, with Peter Cullen, probably did 70% of the voices of my childhood)
• and of course Peter Cullen

The Loss

Not even 20 minutes into the movie one of the most gut-wrenching scenes of all time happened, and it still effects most men aged 35-40.  Optimus Prime, the beloved leader of the Autobots, is killed.  His Spark fades, and he turns gray.  This wasn't some secondary character they killed here.  This was Optimus effing Prime!  They can't do that!  But...they did.  

The Music

Now this is a part that definitely has a special place in my heart.  Two songs in particular on the soundtrack are still on my cell phone to this day.  Both written by Stan Bush.  The first, "The Touch" is so mid-80's that it hurts.  But it has so many great lines in it that, if you know it, you just can't help but sing along.  The scene in the movie plays out like this:

Optimus Prime, having just landed on Earth to an embattled Autobot City says "Megatron must be stopped no matter the cost." to which he transforms to his semi-truck form and starts to head across a bridge towards the city...all while Stan Bush starts singing..."You got the touch.  You got the power...".  He proceeds to take out Decepticon after Decepticon, all while the music plays out for us.  He corners Megatron and says one of the greatest, and sadly most foreshadowing, lines in the movie "One shall stand.  One shall fall".

I'll leave out the rest as I'm starting to get teary-eyed knowing whats coming (stupid Hot Rod, why couldn't you have listened to Kup?!).
The other song by Stand Bush is called "Dare".  It happens just before the attack on Autobot City and introduces us to the previously accursed Hot Rod and wizened Kup (also Daniel Witwicky, who we can all live without). It's just a fun, upbeat song that you just can't help but tap along to. "You can fly if you try..."

End of an Era

While the Transformers continued on for a few more years after this movie, for a lot of us it had lost it's innocence.  It had killed Optimus Prime.  Brought on the rise of Galvatron.  Proved that, if really needed, an Autobot leader can pretty much defeat anything so long as he has the Matrix of Leadership.  Oh, and it also taught a lot of us our first curse word (see below video).  I will always love this movie, even with it's many faults, because it reminds me of what it was like to be a hopeful child, and have those hopes dashed.  And I will never forget the songs that make this movie remembered by me and so many to this day.

Fallen Angel

On June 2, 2016, at 3:01PM ET, an Angel fell.  A Blue Angel to be more precise.  Captain Jeff Kuss, USMC, was a member of the Navy's Flight Demonstration Team, better known as the "Blue Angels" or simply "The Blues" to those of us have watched them since before we can remember.

It is not yet fully known what happened to the F/A-18 Super Hornet that Capt. Kuss was piloting in Smyrna, TN during a training flight.  However, what IS known according to witnesses, is that Capt. Kuss managed to maneuver his jet away from an area with civilians and towards tress, thus saving lives in his final act.  A true American hero.

I was born and raised in Pensacola, FL. NAS (Naval Air Station) Pensacola, if you didn't know, is the home base of the Blue Angels.  Over the years I have lost count of how many times I saw them fly, and no matter how many times I see them it always amazes me, and probably always will.  My most recent chance to see them was on July 4, 2015 when the girlfriend and I went to Pensacola to see my parents and take part in the annual "Red, White, and Blues" festivities at Pensacola Beach.  There are no words to describe a Blues air show (especially at Pensacola where they are loved the most).  Seeing "Fat Albert", the Blues C-130 bank and turn like nothing that size has a right to do and then having it fly right over your head to start the show.  What follows is an absolutely amazing display of precision group patterns.  The nail biting near misses when two jets fly towards each other and twist at the last second.  And, my favorite, the slow (relative term for a jet) fly-by of a single jet barely a couple of hundred feet off the waters of Pensacola Beach.  The final maneuver is always heart-wrenching for me, seeing the "Missing Man Formation", when the Blues come in from one direction in the classic Delta-formation, and then one of the pilots pulls up towards the sky, representing those who have fought and not made it home (an example of this is above this paragraph).

A friend of mine gave me this prayer for pilots and I wanted to share it:

Eternal Father, strong to save,
Whose arm hath bound the restless wave,
Who bid'st the mighty ocean deep,
Its own appointed limits keep,
Oh hear us when we cry to those in peril on the sea.

Lord, gaurd and guide the men who fly,
Through the great spaces in the sky.
Be with them always in the air,
In darkening storms or sunlight fair.
Oh hear us when we lift our prayer,
For those in peril in the air.
Amen

At the end of this I wanted to thank Capt. Kuss.  For being a member of the USMC.  For being a Marine Corps Aviator.  For being a hero.  And I want to thank his family.  We lost a member of the best flight demonstration team in the world.  They lost a son, a husband, and a father.  God speed, Captain Kuss.  

"Second Star to the right..."